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For Girls, Talking About Your Problems May Just Make Them Worse |
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While researchers may have discovered that boys talk just as much as girls, apparently it’s what girls are talking about that’s causing the trouble.
ABC News reports that researchers at the University of Missouri-Colombia found that co-rumination, or constantly discussing ones problems with close friends, seems to increase anxiety and depression in young and adolescent girls. Apparently talking about your problems could just be increasing unhappiness.
The study, which will appear in the July issue of the American Psychological Association journal Development Psychology, involved observing boys and girls in the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th grades over a six month period to see how sharing problems with friends correlated with anxious and depressed feelings. They found that for girls, sharing problems with friends strengthened their friendships, but it also increased their feelings of depression and anxiety. Boys, however, did not react the same way. While feelings of friendship also increased with boys, there was no apparent impact on their depression or anxiety levels.
Alan Kazdin, professor of child psychiatry at Yale University and former president of the APA, says that these findings could be proof of behavioral differences between boys and girls. "It has long been known that girls are more prone to anxiety and depression during adolescence than boys," agreed Jonathan Sandoval, professor of education at the University of the Pacific's Benerd School of Education in Stockton, California. "This is a time when societal pressures and expectations impact young women negatively, and talking about their concerns with others is obviously better than keeping them to themselves."
The concern of many is what effect co-rumination induced anxiety and depression may have on young women, whether such feelings could spur on even more co-rumination, plunging adolescents into a vicious cycle of despair. “The danger is when the discussion between these girls is negative and destructive and is lacking the discussion of effective coping,” said Cynthia Thomae, crises response chair of the Arizona School Counselors Association. According to Dr. John T. Walkup, associate professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Hospital, some children could be especially prone to this pattern, such as those who are already anxious and depressed. “Anxious and depressed kids complain a lot in a way that is not effective in eliciting support, so that their complaints ‘don’t work’, leading to more demoralization.”
Promoting discussion that is designed to lead to a solution of the problems being discussed have shown to be the exception to the rule in this study. When subjects are discussed that have a potential reachable solution, individuals are generally spared from undue anxiety and depression. “I think what [this] brings to mind is the distinction between controllable stressors and uncontrollable stressors,” said study author Amanda Rose, associate professor of psychology at the University of Missouri-Colombia. “Girls tend to co-ruminate about stressors that they can’t control. I think helping girls recognize the differences between what they can solve and can’t solve is important,” she said.
Researchers point out that it is important to remember that talking out one's problems is not all bad. “A little bit of talking about your problems is fine, but much focus on trauma, injury and problems can incubate—increase and exacerbate—their effect,” said Kazdin. “Sensitizing parents to this and having professionals sensitize parents and teachers to this would be helpful.” Nadine Kaslow, chief psychologist at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta and a professor at Emory University's School of Medicine, echoed this sentiment. "Just because it makes us feel depressed, it isn't all bad," she said. "We wouldn't keep doing it if it just made us feel bad." According to ABC News, she added that it is important to note that while such interactions may increase certain symptoms of anxiety or depression, it does not necessarily mean that a girl is clinically anxious or depressed. “We need to be really careful, because while you might have symptoms of anxiety and depression, that does not necessarily mean you have the condition," she said.
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